Tanner, a prominent figure from the reality series “Love on the Spectrum,” has captured the hearts of viewers with his journey through life as an individual diagnosed with autism. Diagnosed at the age of only two-and-a-half, Tanner has made significant progress, especially with his verbal communication. Although he is, by some standards, very high-functioning, he still has to negotiate a world that imposes enormous obstacles upon his condition. Today, Tanner works in maintenance at Clemson’s deluxe shepherd hotel in downtown Clemson, SC. He welcomes attendees with distinct jubilance and exuberance, capturing the essence of the resilient and joyful spirit.
A graduate of Clemson University’s LifeSkills program, Tanner acquired the tools to independence through the program. Today, he loves life with new roommates and is flourishing at work. His pursuit of love, showcased in Season 3 of “Love on the Spectrum,” highlights his desire for connection and companionship. During the course of the season Tanner and Callie forged a special friendship. They connected through their joint love for animals, with Callie as a 21-year-old crusader for those with Williams syndrome. His blind date with Shyann on her family’s goat farm made things uncomfortable for his mom, Nicci. Aside from being a close friend of Tanner’s, Fischer could sense the tension in the air.
Overcoming Early Challenges
Tanner’s formative years were filled with fear and anxiety. When he was diagnosed on the autism spectrum in the early 2000s, Nicci wanted to try everything she could to assist him. One of her first breakthroughs was a gluten-free, casein-free diet, largely promoted during the early years.
“When Tanner was diagnosed, they were pushing a gluten-free, casein-free diet — so we tried it. I thought, ‘We are going to beat this. I’m going to fix him,’” – Nicci.
No matter how hard she tried, Nicci would come to learn that Tanner needed more than a different food plan.
“What he really needed was for us to slow down a bit, figure out his triggers, understand his sensory issues, and learn how to help him help himself,” – Nicci.
As the years passed, Nicci came to understand that there wasn’t a universal answer for autism.
“I was always thinking there was some expert out there who had the answer. But in autism, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. What there is, is consistency, hard work over time, and realizing that your best outcome might not be what you expected — but it can still be really good. And that took me a long time to understand,” – Nicci.
This insight was a pivotal moment in their journey together as parent and child.
The Road to Independence
Today, Tanner’s life is a testament to both the benefits of hard work and the extraordinary success that can come from unconditional love and support. Roommates provide him with an environment where he can continue to develop his independence but not be so isolated that he is without a support system. His work at the Shepherd Hotel has served to create a great sense of purpose within him. It serves to underscore his extraordinary people skills. Visitors are met with Tanner’s effervescent energy—a vibrant energy that has become synonymous with Tanner’s persona.
Though she’s accomplished all these things, Nicci isn’t shy to speak on her former challenges as a caregiver.
“We’ve got some exhausted, depressed caregivers — and their stories need to be heard, too,” – Nicci.
She wants to portray that though Tanner’s progress is wonderful, the struggle for equality still remains despite the progress made.
“The world is seeing happy, social Tanner now, but there were years when he didn’t play with other children. I couldn’t take him to basketball games because the buzzers were too loud. And every time we went out as a family, we were all on edge — wondering what might upset Tanner,” – Nicci.
There’s a lot of hard and confusing things about raising an autistic child. Caregivers suffer an emotional cost as they juggle these hurdles.
Searching for Love
Tanner’s unexpected foray into the world of rom-coms makes Tanner’s story all the more fascinating. His blind date with Shyann at the goat dairy proved how deep his longing for intimacy ran. It also highlighted the struggles he goes through with connecting with others in social relationships as a person living with autism. For Nicci, hearing this moment play out was an emotional experience.
“To me, that date was very uncomfortable because I know him,” – Nicci.
Even though the whole situation was uncomfortable for Nicci, Tanner was able to go into dating with openness and curiosity. He is unapologetic about his vision as his Instagram bio reads “Bring the joy.” This is shown through his upbeat, positive demeanor as he goes on his quest to find love.
Tanner impressed Wahlberg with his transformation on a surprise FaceTime call. It was beautiful for Nicci to have found this moment and to appreciate it as evidence of her son’s truly monumental success.
“If you had told me when Tanner was a little boy that he would be doing now what he’s doing now,” – Nicci.
This hopeful spirit is a beautiful testimony to the journey of hope and possibility Tanner is living out today.