At 71 years young, Tina Knowles has just entered her third act with her candid new memoir Matriarch. In it, she writes with raw, intimate truths that shed light on her experiences with relationships, parenting, and ultimately knowing herself. In her memoir, Knowles candidly writes about the trauma she endured throughout her marriage to ex-hubby Mathew Knowles. She uses these experiences to document the infidelities—both physical and emotional—that poisoned their marriage, culminating in their divorce in 2011.
Knowles started out writing her memoir with the goal of creating a happy book. In revision, she came to understand that her proposal required deeper, more vulnerable stories. She explained, “When I first began to write, I wanted to highlight all of the positive stuff first. That… just didn’t feel right. There was a lot of positive stuff in my life, and I didn’t want to write all of that in isolation. This is my story, and it’s important that I tell the entire truth.”
While pregnant with Solange, Knowles’ reflection found a new focus and foundation. That was when she found herself at a crisis moment in her marriage. She remembered, “There were enough cracks in our marriage that first year.” During this exciting time, Mathew’s drinking and drugging escalated to dangerous levels to the point where Knowles considered leaving Mathew.
The cracks in their marriage showed almost immediately. Knowles explained the cycle of betrayal and forgiveness that marked their relationship. “I was caught in this dance with him, each doing the same steps over and over: He would cheat or act up, and I would say I’d had enough. With a contrite heart, he cried, pled, and swore while weeping that he would do better. She made herself think like this, convincing herself that this is what all married couples did.
As challenging as it was, Knowles for his part held on to the power of their original bond. My suspicions were quickly assuaged for our passion was more powerful than any faux pas. It was me and you against the world, just that fearless duo courageous enough to conquer anything life threw at us,” she told me.
Knowles leaves behind an indelible legacy. She was the force who created Destiny’s Child sound in the 2000s and the savvy who laid out successful solo roads for her daughters, Beyoncé and Solange. Her ability to fashion complementary but challenging wardrobe pieces gave the whole group a cutting edge aesthetic. It uniquely suited them to thrive in a highly competitive industry.
Her marriage left her feeling emotionally unsafe. The anguish increased when Knowles read in the newspaper that Mathew had had an extramarital child. This betrayal turned out to be a pivotal point in her life. I just started screaming, ‘Get out, get out!’ — like he was some fucking demon. ‘I wish I never met you’ … my whole universe had shattered,” she remembered.
In looking back on how she felt during the divorce, Knowles said it was a deep sense of mourning. “I was very depressed, not related to him but about the marriage,” she confided.
In her later years, Knowles found love a second time with actor Richard Lawson, marrying him in 2015. Then, in early 2023, their nine-year relationship ended, resulting in a huge period of introspection. “All the shit I had to go through in my life led me to this point in my life,” she said.
During the course of her journey, Knowles was candid about her struggles to find balance in her life. In the beginning, I was horrible with balance,” she admitted. This not only points up her character-development arc as an individual, but her growth into a matriarch.